Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
