Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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