left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
