I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
