Only a mothe r could love this liver
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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