oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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