Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
