great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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