I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
