Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
