Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize