Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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