Plan B is the new Plan A
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
