he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
