This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
