So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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