one two three fourrrrnication!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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