I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
