Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
