OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The ass gains better be worth it
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