we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
