mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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