Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This house was built for laser tag.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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