Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
