I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
