i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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