Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
