So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
