I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Let's get the cat blown out
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
