walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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