I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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