Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
