he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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