you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
