You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
