I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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