BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
