Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
