does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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