Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Fuck appropriateness.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You took a bar mat shot.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You ate ashes out of my bong
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
