drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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