I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
