Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
