Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
