i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
