i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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