o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
