YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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