marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love having hate sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
