we have pet lesbian snakes
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
