I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So many bounce houses so little time
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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