mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
