people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
